Our Own Summer(TOTAL RANDOMNESS ENSUES!!)
by WingZero
Summary: *FIRST 3 CHAPTERS UPLOADED!!!!!* Yes, a randomness fic...this is my first attempt at random slapstick humor!! Silliness ensues as Misty and co. have a summer of random adventures...AND I DO mean RANDOM!!!!!!! R+R!
1. Chapter 1 - A girl, a mime, and a horny ...

A/N: Welcome the most twisted of twisted fics that can ever be created!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is completely random and meant for humor.....so enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!! Be Prepared….this fanfic is chock full of celebrity cameos, total hilarity…and a poor 15 year old mime. You've been warned…any and all celebrity names are not meant for slandering, they are just there for comedic purposes, and are property of whoever the hell owns them. So ummm…yeah. Please review, this is my FIRST EVER humor fic. ^_^ enjoy everybody!!!  
  
1 Our Own Summer(Total Randomness!!!)  
  
Chapter 1 – A girl, a mime, and a horny man(there's a plot in here somewhere!)  
  
  
  
This takes place in some strange, twisted alternate universe....lemme catch you up on the facts...  
  
Ash, fed up with his losses year after year in tournaments, only to hope that next season maybe, just MAYBE writers will cut him a break, has given up on training, gave Pikachu to his mom for awhile, and went off to become...a professional Mime.  
  
Misty is now 17....that's about it. She's same old Zero-style wisea** Misty. ^_^ no ifs ands or buts about it.  
  
Brock is just about ready to give up....and wants to be.....a male dancer? @_@  
  
More silliness ensues...we join our heros in...the Ketchum household!!!!  
  
Delia: (fixing Breakfast) morning!!!  
  
Misty: (groans)  
  
Ash: (silent)  
  
Delia: Ash honey, are you okay?  
  
Ash: (nods)  
  
Misty: Ash is above talking now. He's a....a....a...(DUN DUN DUNNN!!!)......mime.  
  
Delia: (shocked look) SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!  
  
Ash: (holds up finger)  
  
Delia: Huh?  
  
Misty: Hooo boy....  
  
Ash begins to make a bunch of intricate motions.....but none of them make sense.  
  
Ash: (draws a box in the air).....  
  
Misty: Box....?  
  
Ash: (shrugs)  
  
Misty: (whack) THERE'S a charade for ya....baka.  
  
Ash: (rubs head and winces)  
  
Delia: MY POOR LITTLE BOY!!!!!(sobs and goes to hug Ash)  
  
Ash: (miming a wall)  
  
Misty: He won't listen....say Ash, we're gonna hang out all summer together, whaddya say we go have some fun?  
  
Ash: (looks at her quizzically)  
  
Misty: Ya know, fun? Oh yeah, forgot…it's against the law for mimes to have fun or something…  
  
Ash: (glares at her)………………  
  
At this point Brock storms in....  
  
Brock: I've HAD IT!!! I HATE GIRLS!!!! I CAN NEVER BE WITH ANY OF THEM!!!!  
  
Misty: Finally....you realize reality....  
  
Delia: What happened, Brock?  
  
Brock began to weave a tail of sadness and despair....but all Misty could make of it was....  
  
*****Misty's mind*****  
  
Brock: So basically, I tried my smoothest lines to get her in bed and it just didn't work, so now I act heartbroken so everybody at least THINKS I'm a nice guy....and yeah. She had a really nice set of...  
  
**********************  
  
Misty: (shakes head violently) ggh.  
  
Delia: (looks at her) something wrong?  
  
Misty: Yeah...I can understand what Brock says at times....scary. _  
  
Delia: Oh well...Ash, how do you want your eggs?  
  
Ash: ?!!?  
  
Misty: Hey, mime-boy...(pokes Ash) You have to speak, or else you get them SCRAMBLED...and you HATE scrambled eggs...don't you?  
  
Ash: (sweatdrop)  
  
Delia: Ash, if you don't talk to me then I guess I'll just hafta scramble them, honey!  
  
Ash: !!!!!! (tears welling up at sides of eyes)  
  
Ash looked at Misty. Misty smirked. Brock was sobbing into a napkin, that was very much torn apart by now, and Delia hummed the battle theme from Pokemon Silver to herself as she made the eggs. Ash watched in horror as he saw her spatula....in slow motion....almost Matrix-Style....reach towards the yolk....and....  
  
Misty: Ash...better tell her....  
  
Ash: _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (crying anime tears)  
  
Delia: (breaks the yolk in real-time) oh well, scrambled it is....!  
  
Misty: Way to keep your big mouth shut...baka. (whacks Ash and sits down)  
  
Ash: ¬_¬  
  
Delia: So, Ash...Misty...what're you two gonna do today?  
  
Misty: I dunno...I wish I could communicate with Ash right about now....but all he understands is....  
  
Ash: ?  
  
Misty: (flips him off)  
  
Ash: _  
  
Misty: See?  
  
Delia: Misty, be nice to him...he IS the worst possible thing that can happen to a human being on this earth...  
  
Ash: ¬_¬ @ Delia  
  
Misty: Yeah, life must really suck as a mime....  
  
Brock: (singing) Nobody knows...the troubles I've seen....  
  
Delia: Hm? (looks at Brock)  
  
Brock: (crying) Nobody knows my sorrow!!!!!!!!!! T_T  
  
Misty: Come off it!!!!!  
  
***Meanwhile!!!***  
  
Man in the Yellow Hat: Sir, the plans for the subways are here!  
  
Giovanni: Perfect, bring them to me!! MWAHAHAH!!  
  
Man: Ummm...mister mayor...you're the mayor of New York City, not Saddam Hussein.  
  
Giovanni: Oh....yeah.  
  
Man: Never mind...anything I can do for you, Mister Mayor?  
  
Giovanni: Hmm...I desire................a poppy bagel, and a Starbucks Doubleshot!!! (snaps fingers) Chop chop!!  
  
Man: Yessir!! (leaves)  
  
Giovanni: Hmmmmmm...(looks at the tag on his desk w/his name on it)...spiffy! (spins around in chair) WHEEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Secretary: Ummm..sir?  
  
Giovanni: (falls out of chair) OOF!!!!!!!  
  
Secretary: ¬_¬  
  
*****elsewhere!*****  
  
Misty is walking around with Ash, just wandering the town, when they run into two familiar figures.  
  
Misty: Who the hezie are you two?  
  
Jay: Heyyyyyyy!!!! It's a chiiii-caaa!!!  
  
Silent Bob: (nods)  
  
Ash: !!!!! ^_^ (hugs Silent Bob)  
  
Silent Bob: ?  
  
Jay: Hey, lunchbox, check out da babe!!  
  
Misty: (sweatdrop)  
  
Ash: (mimes a wall)  
  
Silent Bob: (knocks on it)  
  
Ash: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ (big smile)  
  
Silent Bob: ?  
  
Jay: HEY!!! (whacks Bob) You're not here to loop around with this weird kid that doesn't talk, mannnnnnn! We got convenience stores to hang out near!!  
  
Misty: Hey....he understands what Ash is saying!!!  
  
Jay: No he doesn't...and he CAN talk ya know!!!! He has all the time in the world for that stupid Chasing Amy story, but he can't even speak more than two words any other time!!!!! It's stupid!  
  
Silent Bob: (whacks Jay where it hurts)  
  
Jay: _!!!!  
  
Misty: Ummm...we gotta get going...see ya......(grabs Ash) MOVE IT!!! (runs)  
  
Ash: (waving bye bye to Silent Bob with a tear in his eye)  
  
Silent Bob: (wipes a tear away and smiles, then picks up Jay and carries him to a Stop N Shop)  
  
****************  
  
The location? K-Mart!!!!!!!  
  
Jesse: Attention K-Mart shoppers!!! We have a blue light special in the ladies maternity wear section!!  
  
James: (standing next to hear wearing a frilly nightgown) Yes, so get it while it lasts!!!!! Ah-hahahaha....  
  
Jesse: (looks down and sweatdrops) this is so pointless...  
  
James: But the frills, they bring out my eyes!!!  
  
Jesse: NOT YOUR CLOTHES, you MORON!!! (whacks him)  
  
James: Ow!  
  
Meowth: (handing out samples at the foodcourt) Hey, you KNOW you wanna try this chicken teriyaki!!! (people walk past) HEY!!!! YOU DON'T APPRECIATE GOOD FOOD IF IT HIT YOU IN THE FACE!!! SEE?!?! (throws a piece right in somebody's face) TOLD YOU!!! (gets kicked in the face by a customer)...ow....  
  
Jesse: So what do we do now...?  
  
James: I don't know, but if we had about 200 more G's, I could get an operation that would make this outfit less embarassing...  
  
Jesse: ...................  
  
James: What? What did I say?  
  
Jesse: I'd rather not think about it....  
  
James: Hmmmm...well, what does EVERYBODY without any real talent do to become a star?  
  
Jesse: hmmmm...  
  
They both think until they both hear two lightbulbs break at the same time...  
  
Jesse: I KNOW!!! We can become pop-stars!!!  
  
Lou Pearlman: Did somebody say pop?  
  
James: Hey!!!! It's that fat guy who manages all those horrid poppy boy bands and groups!!!!  
  
Lou: Yeah, that's me!  
  
Jesse: But...everybody who you manage collapses or fires you....  
  
Lou: Those sniveling freaks wouldn't know talent if it hit them in the face!!! And YOU two!!!! Are oozing with talent!!!  
  
James: Really? So THAT'S what I've been smelling...  
  
Lou: No, I just farted....  
  
James: Oh.  
  
Lou: Guys....let's make you two into stars!!!  
  
James: But what about Meowth?!  
  
Meowth: (flying through the air) YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH (SMACK!!! into a wall).....ow.  
  
Jesse: Another fun day of Customer Service, Meowth?  
  
Meowth: (weakly) Service with a broken smile....heeee....  
  
Lou: Who's this?  
  
James: Our 3rd. Meowth.  
  
Meowth: Emphasis on the "ow" part...oiy....  
  
And lo, our heroes began their journey of insanity….  
  
Misty: We gotta find some fun stuff to do for this summer, you guys…  
  
Ash: (trying to pull an imaginary safe on a rope with him)  
  
Misty: (trips him)  
  
Ash: (falls) _!  
  
Brock: (sniffling) I don't care anymore!!  
  
Misty: Just think…adventure, mischief…love…  
  
Brock: (Cries like a little girl)  
  
Ash: (cries cuz he fell flat on his nose)  
  
Misty: C'mon guys!!!  
  
  
  
End of Chapter 1….and yes, I AM on something and can't figure out what it is…. 


	2. Chapter 2 - Isn't Natalie Portman a vega...

Written at 2:30AM in the morning. @_@  
  
  
  
Chapter 2 – Fun at the Stop N Shop/So you wanna be a pop-star?  
  
When we last left our heroes....Ash is finding it rather difficult to live day to day without speaking. Especially when....  
  
Misty: (twisting Ash's arm) SAY UNCLE!!! SAY IT!!!  
  
Ash: _!!!!!!!! (clenching his teeth)  
  
Misty: C'MON!!! SPEAK!!!!! SAY ANYTHING!!!  
  
Ash: _!!!!!  
  
Misty: You're no fun anymore to pick on.  
  
Ash: ¬_¬  
  
Meanwhile, Giovanni is adapting to the duties of Mayor of New York City!  
  
Giovanni: (typing a speech) ...and every Wednesday....is shave your grandma day!!!!  
  
Assistant: Are you sure that'll sit in well with public?  
  
Giovanni: Have you SEEN some of the grandmothers in this city?! JEEZ!!! They have more facial hair than a Canadian Lumberjack!!!!!!!!  
  
Assistant: Have you ever even been there?!?  
  
Giovanni: Where, Canadia?  
  
Asisstant: Ooooo....k.  
  
Giovanni: Anyways, I've decided that also, every Saturday will be....  
  
Assistant: Satur-.......day?  
  
Giovanni: YESS!! SATUR-DAY!!! You are SUCH the genius.  
  
Assistant: Yes....sure...  
  
*****Later!!!*****  
  
Ash and Misty are at the local McDonald's.  
  
Man behind counter: Can I help you?  
  
Misty: Yeah, I'll have a double quarter pounder with cheese....medium fries...and a large sprite...and....Ash?  
  
Ash: (pointing at the Big Mac Meals)  
  
Misty: Ash, they don't SERVE breakfast meals at 3PM!!!  
  
Ash: (pointing enthusiastically at the big mac)  
  
Misty: TODAY ASH!!!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!  
  
Ash: _  
  
Misty: Well..umm.....forget it. Just that.  
  
Ash: (stomach rumbles)  
  
Misty: Well you don't talk, you don't order!! Welcome to America, you gotta SPEAK to get what you want!! And you can't do that cuz you're a ..........*(DUN DUN DUNNN!!)* mime.  
  
Ash: (ready to strangle Misty)  
  
Rudy Guliani: Will that be all?  
  
Misty: Hey...you're.........  
  
Rudy: Yes? (beaming)  
  
Misty: Are you the janitor at the high school?  
  
Ash: .......?  
  
Misty: Yeah, you had to clean the bathroom when my friend yacked all over the place, NOW I remember you!!! You said you were gonna quit and go into politics or some crap!!!  
  
Rudy: Well...ummm...(sweatdrop)  
  
Misty: Look Ash, a broken man.  
  
Ash: (wipes away a tear)  
  
Rudy: If you'll excuse me...WHERE'S THAT ORDER?!?  
  
Cow: (working behind the grill) WHAT?!?!  
  
Rudy: QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE!!!  
  
Cow: WHAT?!?!?  
  
Rudy: AND MAKE IT QUICK!! WE HAVE A LINE!!!  
  
Cow: WHAT?!?!?  
  
Rudy: .........waaaahhh.  
  
Misty: (facefaults)  
  
Ash: (looks down, shrugs, and continues the box miming)  
  
*******At the Stop N Shop!!!********  
  
Voice on PA: Deli department, pick it up on 0092!!  
  
Natalie Portman: (picks up phone) Whaddya want?!  
  
Customer: Hi, is this Natalie Portman?  
  
Natalie: It ain't Brooke Shields.  
  
Customer: Oh...aren't you a vegan?  
  
Natalie: Yeah, so?  
  
Customer: Doesn't it disgust you that you have to cut up animal remains to make an extra buck?  
  
Natalie: Hey, it's only between Star Wars movies!!!  
  
Customer: Heh, the tabloids will LOVE this!!!  
  
Hayden Christensen: Hey Natalie!! Get off the phone! We have a line!!! (holding up a meat cleaver) Let's move!!!  
  
Mrs Ketchum: (looks at her ticket) Ooh ,number 2.  
  
Hayden: Now calling.......2.  
  
Delia: That's me!! I'll have a half pound of turkey, 2 pounds of yellow cheese, and...hey, aren't you...?  
  
Hayden: Don't even ask.....  
  
Delia: Riiiight...(backs away slowly, bumps into somebody)....sorry! Excuse...me?!  
  
JarJarBinks: Yousa like samplez!!!!! *holds out a small plate with a piece of cake*  
  
Delia: AHHHH!! (runs away)  
  
JarJarBinks: Whatdid mesa say?  
  
*******Later!!!! Again********  
  
Brock is sitting at the table, drunk.  
  
Brock: (slurred) And THEN!!!! She had the nerve.....to tell me...NO!!!(talking to a stuffed elephant) CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!  
  
Elephant: (with a shot glass taped to its hand)  
  
Brock: SAY SOMETHING!!!  
  
Elephant: ...............  
  
Brock: Eh, you're no fun anyways!!!  
  
Elephant: ..............  
  
Brock: What're YOU laughin at?!  
  
Elephant: .........  
  
Brock: It's not funny!!!  
  
Elephant: .................  
  
Brock: Sure, laugh your head off!!!!! MEANIE!!! _  
  
Elephant: ...........  
  
Brock: YOU'LL NEVER HAVE THE PROBLEMS I HAVE!!!!! GIRLS LIKE YOU!!!!!  
  
Elephant: .............  
  
Brock: (breaks down, sobbing)  
  
**********************  
  
INTERMISSION!!!  
  
Yeah, this fic is totally random....me and my girlfriend are just putting random parts together and hoping they work.......and now....I dunno where to go from here...so....MORE RANDOMNESS!!!!  
  
**********************  
  
Jesse and James are in a recording studio.  
  
Jesse: -- singing Row Row Row Your Boat in off-key Chinese Mandarin  
  
James: --- trying to dance like a Backstreet Boy  
  
Meowth: (screams) EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME....  
  
Lou Pearlman: (listening in a seperate booth)  
  
Important looking person: So, what do you think?  
  
Lou: I think they've got it....  
  
James: (to Lou) Does this outfit make me look fat?  
  
Lou: No, but it'd make ME look fat! Keep dancing!!!  
  
James: 4 more hours of this?!?  
  
Jesse: (coughs) I can't keep up this singing!!!  
  
Meowth: (falls over after screaming) SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP!!! I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!!!!!  
  
Jesse: I wonder if this is how Britney Spears got her debut...  
  
Lou: Nah, she got her debut cuz she's a blond with big(gets slapped by the important looking person) OW!!! _  
  
Important Person: NOT on this message board!!! _  
  
Lou: sorry...just zoning out....  
  
James/Jesse/Meowth: (now trying to sing "Brother John" in Kansai-dialect)  
  
Lou: I think I'll take a nap....(passes out)  
  
**************************  
  
Misty: (to Ash) Hey Ash, guess what?  
  
Ash: (looks at her)  
  
Misty: I have something to tell you.  
  
Ash: ?  
  
Misty: I kinda stole your....memory card for your PS2 awhile back...  
  
Ash: _  
  
Misty: Yeah..and you thought it was lost, right?  
  
Ash: (nod)  
  
Misty: Yeah...and your discman? It didn't dissapear....I kinda broke it and tossed it in the trash....  
  
Ash: ......?!?!  
  
Misty: Along with your game boy. I kinda broke the screen when I dropped it. You were kinda far on Pokemon Crystal too, weren't you?  
  
Ash: _!!!!!!!!  
  
Misty: Yeah, sorry...but heh...you can't SAY anything about it...cuz you're a mime!!!  
  
Ash: (mimes a noose around his neck, pulls and tightens) *GACK!!*  
  
Misty: Hey, you okay?  
  
Ash: (sighs an anime mushroom)......  
  
Misty: Well, just thought I'd letcha know! See ya!!!!!  
  
Ash: ................................. 


	3. Chapter 3 - Resident Evil: Code CHIHUAHU...

REN HOEK IS IN THE HOUSE!!!! YES EVERYBODY!!!!!! ……..this is a strange new world we live in, doo doo doo doo dooo doooo…lol. Enjoy -- Z  
  
Chatper 3 -- "Resident Evil: Code Chihuahua"  
  
Our Heroes are at the Ketchum household right now, discussing plans for tonight...  
  
Delia: So do you kids have any plans for tonight?  
  
Misty: I dunno...Ash? What do you wanna do?  
  
Ash: (shrugs)  
  
Misty: .............he's gotta talk sometime.  
  
Delia: Hmmm....hey, why not go to a romantic movie and get some munchies, teen night out?  
  
Misty: Pfft. Yeah. Sure. Ash is about as romantic as a sock puppet.  
  
Sock: (peeks out from doorframe) Did somebody say sock puppet?!  
  
Misty: What the?! (looks over)  
  
Brock: (comes out, wearing a sock on his hand with buttons for eyes) Hi everybody!  
  
Misty: ..............  
  
Ash: @_@  
  
Delia: Brock, are you feeling okay?  
  
Brock: BETTER THAN OKAY!!! I FINALLY found somebody who understands!!!!  
  
Misty: ....please tell me you're kidding............  
  
Brock: Fine, if you don't believe me, ask him yourself!! Ne, Socky?  
  
Socky: That's right, Brock is my bestest friend! And he's cool, and suave, and gets lotsa chicks!!! He's so awesome, that any girl that DOESN'T like Brock is just a big ninny-head!!!  
  
Ash: @_@  
  
Misty: ......be afraid.  
  
Delia: Be VERY afraid....  
  
Misty: Hmmm....  
  
Delia: No ideas yet? I mean, it IS Friday night.  
  
Ash: (leaning on thin air casually)  
  
Misty: ..............Ash. (whacks him)  
  
Ash: _!  
  
Misty: Knock off the miming!!  
  
Ash: !?!?!? (proceeds to pull a clump of his own hair out)  
  
Misty: Hey, isn't there a haunted house in the next town over?  
  
Ash: !??!  
  
Misty: Yeah, sounds like fun, c'mon Ash!!!  
  
Ash: (face turns pale, shakes head "NO!!!" vigorously)  
  
Misty: Don't be such a wuss!!  
  
Socky: Can we come?  
  
Misty: .......  
  
Brock: Yeah, can we?  
  
Socky: I bet it'll be fun, huh Rico Suave?  
  
Brock: (w/latin accent) Yes!!!!  
  
Misty: I think....not.  
  
Socky: HEY!! (pinches Misty's arm)  
  
Misty: OW!!! Brock!!! You pinched me!!!  
  
Brock: He has a mind of his own!! And he BIT you, FYI.  
  
Misty: ...........this is stupid...c'mon Ash!!! (drags Ash out by his collar)  
  
Ash: (dragged along, trying to reach towards his mother)  
  
Delia: Have fun, kids!!!  
  
Socky: This'll be COOL!!!  
  
**********At the recording studio************  
  
Jesse/James: (singing) We are we are, the....the youth of the nation!!!  
  
Meowth: (screams) AND LOVE IS ALL I HAVE TO GIVE!!!!!  
  
Jesse/James: Row row row your boat, row row row your boat!!!  
  
Meowth: DON'T ROCK THE BOAT!!!!  
  
Lou: Wow, you guys are great!!!!  
  
Jesse: (to James) Hey, you went flat on that "row"!  
  
James: DID NOT!! YOU DID!!!  
  
Lou: BOTH OF YOU DID!!!! But it sucked so much that all your fans won't care!!!  
  
James: They won't?  
  
Lou: Of course not!!! Why do you think that girls go crazy for BSB? Of course EVERYBODY knows they suck hosewater...BUT!!!!  
  
Jesse: But?  
  
Lou: But, nobody cares, cuz pretty faces will ALWAYS sell over real talent!  
  
Jesse: THAT'S SO TRUE!!!!!!  
  
James: So THAT'S how industry works!!!!  
  
Lou: You got it!! Now, let's take it from the top!!!  
  
Jesse: HI!! My name is!  
  
Meowth: FOR THE NOOKIE!!!!  
  
James: What?!  
  
Jesse: Who?  
  
Meowth: SHAFT!!!!!  
  
Lou: (crying anime tears) BRILLIANCE!! UTTER BRILLIANCE!!!!  
  
*********************  
  
Our heroes arrive at the haunted house....  
  
Misty: Spooky.  
  
Ash: (hiding behind Brock like a frightened little girl) _  
  
Socky: (to Ash) Don't be afraid!!!  
  
Ash: (looks at the sock and sweatdrops)  
  
Brock: What's wrong, Ash?  
  
Ash: (points at the sock puppet)  
  
Misty: Brock, put your friend away now.  
  
Brock: BUT!!!  
  
Ash: .......(staring down the sock puppet)  
  
Misty: NOW!!!  
  
Brock: (sadly) okayyyyy...(takes it off and puts it in his pocket)  
  
Misty: Now...let's go.....  
  
*random moan from out of nowhere*  
  
Ash: (hides behind Brock again) !!!  
  
Brock: What was that?!  
  
Misty: Probably just a chipmunk or something....  
  
Brock: You sure...?  
  
Misty: Yeah.....definitely...(steps on the porch).....let's go in!!  
  
*moan again, this one sounds like an undead one*  
  
Brock: YIPE!! SOCKY SAVE ME!!!  
  
Socky: (gets put back on Brock's hand) You're too beautiful to die, Brock!!! I'll save you oh bestest buddy in the whole wide world who is good looking and multi-talented!!!  
  
Misty: (smacks hand to forehead)  
  
Ash: (pulls out an apple and starts gnawing on it)  
  
Misty: K...let's do this....(opens door)  
  
They walk inside, and there is nobody there until a small movement is seen in the corner)  
  
Brock: You see that?!?  
  
Misty: See what?!  
  
Zombie Squirrel: AY-YYIYIYIYYIYIYIYIYI!!! (latches onto Brock's vest)  
  
Brock: AHHHH!! GET IT OFFA ME!!!!  
  
Misty: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?!  
  
Squirrel: (screeching like Xena) CHIHIYIYIYIYIYI!!!!!  
  
Ash: (stares blankly at the squirrel, reaches out to touch it)  
  
Misty: Ash!! DON'T TOUCH IT!!! You don't know where it's been! (whacks him) baka!!!  
  
Ash: @_@  
  
Brock: (running around in circles) GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!!  
  
Misty: Stand still and maybe we could!!!  
  
Ash: (watches for a second, looks at the apple core in his hand)......!!  
  
Misty: What, what izzit?  
  
Ash: (throws the apple core at the zombie squirrel's head)  
  
Squirrel: KEEEE! (falls off and dies) X_X  
  
Misty: .........(facefault)  
  
Ash: (puts hand behind head and sweatdrops)  
  
Misty: Who knew.  
  
Brock: (crying like a little child)  
  
Socky: It's okay Brocko!!  
  
Brock: SOME HELP YOU WERE!! TAKE THIS! (bites the sock puppet)  
  
Socky: OW!!!!  
  
Misty: Brock?!?!  
  
Brock: OWWWWWWWWWW!!! (runs around in circles in pain)  
  
Misty: (smacks hand to forehead) I'm surrounded by idiots....I swear...  
  
Ash: (looks upwards) !!!!!  
  
Misty: What?! (looks up) WHAT THE!??!  
  
A pale Asthmahound Chihuahua is standing at the top of the stairwell.  
  
Ren Hoek: YOU EEDIOTS!!!  
  
Misty: WHAT THE HEZIE?!!??  
  
Ash: _!!  
  
Brock: (looks up and screams like a little girl)  
  
Ren: You have deestroyed my precious zombee sqirrrell!!!! Preepare to bee eeten!!!!!  
  
Misty: ....say what?  
  
Ren: A-HAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Ash: ¬_¬  
  
Misty: Yeah...lame.  
  
Ren: (starts walking down the steps)....brains...must....eet....brains.....  
  
Misty: (holds Ash in front) Here's a light snack!! He doesn't have much to begin with!!!  
  
Ash: _!!!!! (wriggles out of Misty's grip)  
  
Misty: SOME HELP YOU ARE!! (to Ren) I'm too gorgeous and young to die!!!!!! TAKE HIM!! (points at Brock) He's SCHIZO!!!  
  
Brock: AM NOT!!  
  
Socky: YEAH!!  
  
Misty: SEE?! MY POINT EXACTLY!!!  
  
Ren: EENOUGH!!! (points at them) attack them, my pets!!! MWAHAHAH!!!  
  
A thousand eyes appear in the darkness, red ones....and the squirrels descend on the trio...but wait!!!!!!  
  
Girl with a gun: HOLD IT!!!  
  
Misty: HEY!! IT'S JILL! JILL VALENTINE!! RESIDENT EVIL JILL!!!!  
  
Jill: YES!!!  
  
Ash: ?  
  
Jill: I'm a member of STARS.  
  
Misty: Duh. Can you say anything more than your Marvel Vs Capcom 2 lines?  
  
Bob Dole: (comes in wearing a toga) I'M HERE!!! NOBODY MOVE!!!  
  
Misty: ..............okay, this is just WRONG.  
  
Bob Dole: A ZOMBIE!! KILL IT!! (shoots Jill)  
  
Jill: (dies) X_X  
  
Misty: BAKA!!! THAT WAS OUR ONLY HOPE!!!  
  
Bob Dole: ALRIGHT, ELDERLY AGING CELEBRITY SQUAD, MOVE IN!!!  
  
Elton John: (wearing a tutu) I'm here!!!  
  
Robert Redford: Present! (holding a bananna)  
  
Bob Saget: I'm ready!!  
  
Misty: Who the hell are you?! (to Bob)  
  
Bob Saget: I'm TV's Bob Saget!  
  
Misty: ...who?  
  
Ash: (looks at Bob quizzically)  
  
Misty: You look like wayyy too much of a loser to be a TV star!!!  
  
Bob Saget: But I AM!!!  
  
Misty: ...........must've been a really sucky show. Ash would know, all he does is watch TV.  
  
Ash: (nods in agreement)  
  
Bob Saget: Full House? America's Funniest Home Videos?  
  
Ash: (yacks)  
  
Misty: NOOOOO!! (runs up to Bob Dole, takes his gun, points it at Saget) HE'S THE REAL EVIL!!!  
  
Bob Saget: Say What?  
  
Misty: (fires a harsh jet of water from Bob Dole's Super Soaker FPS200) TAKE THIS!!!  
  
Bob Saget: AHHHH!!! I'M MELTING!!! (congeals into a puddle) mellllting........me...lt...ing...  
  
Bob Dole: (reaches down and blots him up with a Handi Wipe) THANK YOU!!! We've been trying so hard to rid ourselves of this idiot!!!  
  
Misty: He deserves it just for those corny voices he made for those videos.  
  
Ash: (wipes sweat from his forehead in relief)  
  
Elton John: (screams like a little girl) GET IT OFFA ME!!!! (being bitten by a squirrel)  
  
Misty: AHH!!! IT'S GOT ELTON!! WHAT DO WE DO!?  
  
Ash: (shrugs)  
  
Voice: Use the force, Misty!  
  
Misty: WHO ARE YOU?!?!  
  
Chris Rock: Who do ya THINK?!?!? just use the flippin' GUN!!!!  
  
Misty: ........are you my father?  
  
Chris Rock: Do I LOOK like your father?! Just fire, Red!!!  
  
Misty: Oh yeah, duh. (fires at the squirrel, but hits Elton where it hurts)....  
  
Elton: (voice is even higher than it already is) YEEEEE!! THAT WATER IS COLD!!  
  
Misty: Sorry! ^_^;;;  
  
Ash: ¬_¬  
  
Elton: (falls to the ground in a heap, squirrels surround him) NOOOOO!!!  
  
Squirrels: *munch munch*  
  
There's a sign over Elton's body that reads "YOU DIED".  
  
Misty: Whoa, cool effects!!  
  
Ash: (pokes the letters).....?  
  
Ren Hoek: YES!!! EAT, MY PETS!! EAT!!!  
  
Elton John is now no more than just a splotch on the floor.  
  
Socky: I'm scared!!! Hold me, Brock!!  
  
Brock: Me too!! (huggles the puppet on his hand)  
  
Misty: (whacks Brock)....what do we do now?!  
  
Bob Dole: We gotta take out their leader!! (points to the laughing chihuahua)  
  
Misty: Any ideas, Ash?!  
  
Ash: (shrugs)  
  
Misty: You're no help!!  
  
Ash: (cowers)  
  
Bob Dole: We'll distract the squirrels!!! You take out the rat type thingy!!  
  
Ren: I AM NOT A RAT!!!! I'M AN ASTHMAHOUND CHIHUAHUA!!!  
  
Misty: Whatever!!! (jumps over the squirrels, Matrix-Style) BRING IT!!!  
  
The camera angle rotates, causing Misty to bump into the banister, head first.  
  
Misty: OW!! (hits the ground hard)  
  
Brock: MISTY!!!  
  
Robert Redford: Don't worry little missy!!! I'll save you!!!! (attempting to wade through waves of squirrels, slowly drowns)  
  
Ash: (runs around in circles, trying to avoid a squirrel) _!!!!!  
  
Misty: (tries to get up) nngh...my head hurts...  
  
Ren: (standing over her) HAHAHAHHAA!!!! NOW YOU'RE MINE!!!  
  
Misty: Don't think so!!! (grabs his foot and flings him down the stairs)  
  
Ren: Ahhhhh!! (lands in a heap on the bottom of the steps)  
  
Bob Dole: What do we do now?!?  
  
Ren: (gets up) AHAHAHA!! I CANNOT BE KEELED!!!! YOU EEDIOTS!!  
  
Misty: (a la Jill from MvsC2) You're finished!!!!!! (fires super soaker at Ren)  
  
Robert Redford: (throws bannana at Ren's head)  
  
Ren: (gets conked by bananna and water) Oh no. You have deestroyed mee. What is to happen now?  
  
Misty: Well, for starters!!! (drenches him)  
  
Brock: EW!! I SMELL WET DOG FUR!!!  
  
Misty: YACK!!! (pinches her nose)  
  
Ren: AHAHAH!! SOAK ME IFYOU WILL, BUT REMEMBER THAT ZOMBIES NEVER DIE!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Roseann Barr: Nyahhhh!!! (sits on Ren)  
  
Ren: *SPLAT!!!*  
  
Misty: WHOA!!!!  
  
Ash: @_@  
  
Bob Dole: Well that was easy.  
  
Misty: Wow....  
  
Ren: (seeping out from under Roseann's posterior)  
  
Roseann Barr: Where's the buffet table?  
  
Bob Dole: Over there. (points to a table full of cheese doodles)  
  
Ash: (stuffing cheese doodles in his mouth)  
  
Misty: EW!!! (whacks Ash, cheese doodles fall out) PIG!!  
  
Ash: _  
  
Bob Dole: Well...our work is done here....  
  
Socky: (hiding with Brock under a tablecloth) izzit safe now?  
  
Misty: I think so....(looks at Brock and doubletakes) BROCK!! TAKE THAT STUPID SOCK OFFA YOUR HAND!!!  
  
Brock: But..  
  
Misty, disgusted, takes the sock off violently, puts it on the ground, and...  
  
Misty: (steps on it repeatedly) STUPID PUPPET!!! (soaks it till it dissolves)  
  
Brock: SOOOOOOOCKYYYYYYYYY!!! (cries like a little girl)  
  
Misty: There, problem solved...let's go to Denny's.  
  
Ash: (thoughts of food) ^_^!!!!  
  
Misty: That is, of course if Ash wants to go.  
  
Ash: (nods vigorously)  
  
Misty: Ash? Do you wanna go or not?!?  
  
Ash: (Keeps nodding)  
  
Misty: QUIT HEADBANGING AND ANSWER ME!!!  
  
Ash: (sighs, begins sobbing)  
  
Misty: Forget it, let's go.....  
  
Bob Dole: My work is done here....(leaves)  
  
Misty: Well....let's go back home, guys.  
  
Brock: (crying about Socky)  
  
Ash: (crying about how he can't talk in this fic)  
  
Misty: (drags them both out) Let's go....  
  
Squirrels: (all of them dissapear)  
  
Misty: Huh?! (looks around) Where did they all go?  
  
Voice of Tracey: This program was brought to you by...  
  
Misty: (shoots him with the super soaker)  
  
Kenji: (dies) X_X  
  
MIsty: Good...NOW all the evil's dead....(leaves with Ash and Brock in tow)  
  
Roseann Barr: (eating a zombie squirrel) needs salt..nyahhhhhh....  
  
Don't ask, ppl….more to come, I promise!!!!! 


End file.
